Leisure Suit Larry I - Sierra Game Manual AMIGA Hard Disk Installation Procedure Please Note: Rename your copies of all game disks to remove the words "copy of" from the disk name. If the words `copy of' are not removed from the disk names of ALL the copies, the system will continue to ask for the original disk, and will not run the game. There are two Hard Disk Installation options to choose from: Complete Install - will copy the contents of all game disks to your hard disk. Choose Complete Install if you want to install the entire game. Small Install - will copy only the contents of the STARTUP DISK onto your hard disk. As you play the game, you will be prompted to insert other games disks as necessary. The INSTALL procedure will recommend Small Install if you do not have the minimum amount of storage space available on your hard disk for the entire game. Installing Your Sierra Game 1. Boot your system with Workbench, and insert the STARTUP DISK into DF0:. 2. Double-click on the disk icon, then double-click on the INSTALL icon. 3. Follow the on-screen prompts to complete the installation. NOTE: If your hard drive is not device DH0:, be sure to change the default destination directory to the correct device. For instance, on the Amiga 3000, the default destination directory should be changed to WORK. Loading Instructions From Diskettes: Note: You must have two disk drives to play from diskettes! 1. Insert the Dual Floppy Play Disk (Disk 0) into Df0: 2. Turn on your system 3. Insert Game Disk 1 into Df1:. You will be prompted to insert additional disks. From Hard Disk: 1. Load Workbench and double-click on your hard disk icon. 2. Double-click on the SIERRA drawer. 3. Double-click on the Sierra Game drawer. 4. Double-click on the Sierra Game icon. Amiga 1000 Loading Instructions Without Hard Disk 1. Boot your system with Kickstart. 2. When the Workbench disk appears on-screen, insert the DUAL FLOPPY PLAY DISK (Disk 0) in Df0: 3. Insert Game Disk 1 in Df1:. You will be prompted to insert additional disks. NOTE: The Dual Floppy Play Disk (Disk 0) must remain in Df0:. Note for experienced Amiga users: This game will search all drives for game information. If you have more than two floppy drives and/or a RAM disk, you may load additional game disks in these drives to save time. Playing Your Sierra Game Using a Mouse To activate the icon bar, move the cursor to the top of the screen. To position the on-screen cursor, move the mouse to the desired position. To move your character, position the cursor and click the mouse button. To execute a command, click the mouse button (multi-button mouse users, click the LEFT button). For more detailed mouse instructions see, below: 1-Button Mouse Click = ENTER [SHIFT-CLICK] to cycle through available cursors. [CTRL-CLICK] to toggle between WALK and the last active cursor. 2-Button Mouse Left-Click = ENTER Right-Click = Cycle through available cursors. [CTRL-CLICK] to toggle between WALK and last active cursor. 3-Button Mouse Left-Click = ENTER Middle-Click = Toggle between WALK and last active cursor. Right-Click = Cycle through available cursors. Using a Keyboard to Play Your Sierra Game To position the onscreen cursor or move your game character using a keyboard, press a direction key on the NUMERIC KEYPAD, or CURSOR KEYS. To stop your character, press the same direction key again. To execute a command, press [ENTER]. [8] = UP [2] = DOWN [6] = LEFT [4] = RIGHT [DEL] = Open icon bar [INS] = Toggle between WALK and last cursor chosen [5] = Cycle through available cursors. [ENTER] = enter Using a Joystick To position the onscreen cursor using a joystick, move the stick in the desired direction. To execute a command, press the FIRE button. For more detailed joystick instructions, see below: NOTE: With the exception of mouse-only items, all playing instructions beyond this point are for keyboard. Mouse or joystick commands may also be used. Please reference the section above for mouse and joystick equivalents to keyboard commands. Using Icons and Cursors At the top of the screen is an icon bar containing several icons that can be selected to execute the command, choices available to you. To open the icon bar, press [ESC] or move the mouse cursor all the way to the top of you screen. Some icons will have a menu of choices. Use the [TAB] key to move between choices within an icon menu. The WALK Icon Choose WALK when you want to move your character from place to place onscreen. A walking character will move as far as the edge of the screen, avoiding obstacles in its path. NOTE: In Keyboard and Joystick mode, your your character's destination will be assumed to be the edge of the screen in the direction of movement, and will walk off the screen if not stopped. The LOOK Icon Choose LOOK when you want to have your character look at something onscreen. The SMELL Icon Choose SMELL when you want to have your character smell something onscreen. The TASTE Icon Choose Taste when you want to have your character taste something onscreen. The ACTION Icon Choose ACTION when you want your character to manipulate an object. The TALK Icon Choose TALK when you want to initiate a conversation between game characters. The ITEM Icon The ITEM icon shows the last inventory item you selected. Choose ITEM when you want to see or use this item. The SYSTEM Icon When you choose the SYSTEM icon, several options will be displayed; SAVE, RESTORE, QUIT, PLAY, VOLUME, SPEED and DETAIL. Choose SAVE when you want to save you game in progress. Choose RESTORE to restore a previously saved game. Choose RESTART to begin the game again. Choose QUIT to stop playing and return to DOS. Here are this CURSOR Descriptions. (MOUSE ONLY!) The WALK Cursor Cursor will look like a "walking figure" when chosen. The LOOK Cursor Cursor will look like an "eye" when chosen. The SMELL Cursor Cursor will look like a "nose" when chosen. The TASTE Cursor Cursor will look like a "tongue" when chosen. The TALK Cursor Cursor will look like a "talking head" when chosen. The ACTION Cursor Cursor will look like a "hand" when chosen. The following is a more detail explanation of the SYSTEM icon. The SPEED lever adjusts the speed of your character's on- screen movement. Move lever up for faster, and lever down for slower. The VOLUME lever adjusts the sound volume of the game music. Move lever up for louder, and down for softer. Using internal speaker move lever up to toggle the sound on, or down to toggle the sound off. The DETAIL lever adjusts the amount of non-essential animation in the game; if your computer system is running the game too slowly, you may want to adjust the game detail to eliminate non-essential animation. Move lever up for more detail, and down for less detail. The HELP icon is for help on learning the function of other icons in the icon bar. When in mouse mode the cursor will turn into a question mark(?). The INVENTORY Icon Choose INVENTORY when you want to see and select from the items you are currently carrying. Within the Inventory screen are several options: ?, LOOK, ACTION, and OK. Choose ? and click on any menu icon to learn the function of the icon. Choose LOOK and click on any inventory item to get a description of that item. Choose ACTION and use the ACTION cursor to use an inventory item to take action on another inventory item (Example: putting jewels into a pouch). To select an item for use, click on the ARROW icon, then click on the desired inventory item. (See INVENTORY OBJECT Cursors, below.) Choose OK to leave the Inventory screen and return to the game. INVENTORY OBJECT Cursors Each item in your inventory has a special OBJECT cursor associated with it. Each of these cursors looks like the object it represents. OBJECT cursors can be used to perform game actions with your inventory items. To use an OBJECT cursor in the game, follow the steps below: 1. From the game, choose the INVENTORY icon from the icon bar, or press the [TAB] key. 2. Move the arrow cursor to the inventory item you want to use, and press [ENTER]. The cursor will change to look like the item you have selected. 3. Choose the OK icon. You will exit the inventory inventory screen to the game. 4. Move the OBJECT cursor to the place onscreen where you want to use the inventory item and press [ENTER]. PAUSING YOUR GAME If you wish to pause your game, select the SYSTEM icon from the icon bar. The game will pause until you select PLAY to resume play. SAVING YOUR GAME IMPORTANT!! If you're playing from diskettes, you must have a separate formatted diskette ready before you can save a game. Since each disk can only hold a limited number of games, we recommend that you have more than one disk formatted, in order to assure adequate space for save game storage. To allow for errors in judgement and creative exploration, we recommend that you frequently save your game in progress, and that you save several different games from different points as you play. You will always want to save your game before encountering potentially dangerous situations. You should also save your game after you have made significant progress. You may name your saved games using standard English phrases. For example, if you are standing on a beach, you might call your game 'standing on beach', or simply 'beach'. SINGLE DISKETTE DRIVE SYSTEMS 1. Choose the SYSTEM icon (slide lever) from the icon bar, then select SAVE. The Save Game menu will appear. 2. Select CHANGE DIRECTORY. Press [CTRL-C] to clear the command line, and type a: 3. Select OK, and press [ENTER]. 4. Type the description of your saved game, and press [ENTER] to save the game. When the process is complete, you will be prompted to re-insert the game diskette. DOUBLE DISKETTE DRIVE SYSTEMS 1. Choose the SYSTEM icon (slide lever) from the icon bar, then select SAVE. The Save Game menu will appear. 2. You will be prompted to insert your Save Game diskette into your primary drive (example: a:). Using your [TAB] key, select CHANGE DIRECTORY*. 3. Press [CTRL-C] to clear the command line, and type the name of your secondary drive (example: b:), and the name of the directory* you wish to save to. 4. Insert a blank formatted diskette in your secondary drive. 5. Select OK, and press [ENTER]. 6. Type the description of your saved game, and press [ENTER] to save the game. HARD DISK USERS NOTE: If you choose to save games to your hard disk, we suggest that you create one or more save game directories or folders on your hard disk. See your computer's instructions for creating directories. 1. Choose the SYSTEM icon (slide lever) from the icon bar, then select SAVE. The Save Game menu will appear. 2. If you wish to save the game to a directory* other than the one you are currently playing on, select CHANGE DIRECTORY*. Press [CTRL-C] to clear the command line, and type the drive and name of the new directory*. 3. Select OK and press [ENTER]. 4. Type the description of your saved game, and press [ENTER] to save the game. RESTORING YOUR GAME 1. Choose the SYSTEM icon (slide lever) from the icon bar, then select RESTORE. You will be prompted to select the game you wish to restore. (On a single drive system, select CHANGE DIRECTORY. Press [CTRL- C] to clear the command line, and type a:. Select OK and press [ENTER]. 2. Highlight the desired game and select RESTORE. 3. If the game you wish to restore is in a different directory, select CHANGE DIRECTORY, the type the name of the directory* you wish to restore from. *The term 'directory' refers to directories, drawers, and folders. QUITTING YOUR GAME To stop playing, choose the SYSTEM icon from the icon bar (slide lever) and select QUIT. RESTARTING YOUR GAME To restart you game at any time during play, choose the SYSTEM icon (slide lever) from the icon bar and select RESTART. MESSAGE WINDOWS Message windows will appear at various times during the game. When you have read the message, press [ENTER] to remove the window and resume play. NOTE: Some message windows are program controlled, and cannot be cleared by pressing [ENTER]. These windows will clear automatically. LOOK everywhere. Thoroughly explore your surroundings. Open doors and drawers. Look closely at all objects you encounter or you may miss important details. EXPLORE each area of the game very carefully, and DRAW A MAP as you progress through the game. Make a note of each are you visit, and include information about objects found there and dangerous areas nearby. If you miss an area, you may miss an important clue! GET objects you think you will need. You can see inventory of items on hand by choosing INVENTORY icon at any time, or by pressing the [TAB] key. USE the items you have picked up to solve problems in the game. Different approaches to a puzzle may bring about a different outcome. BE CAREFUL, and remain alert at all times -- disaster may strike in the most unlikely places! SAVE YOUR GAME OFTEN, especially when you are about to try something new or potentially dangerous. This way, if the worst should happen, you won't have to start all over again from the beginning. Save games at different points, so you will always be able to return to a desired point in the game. In effect, this will enable you to travel backward through time and do things differently if you wish. DON'T GET DISCOURAGED. If you come to an obstacle that seems insurmountable, don't despair. Spend some time exploring another area, and come back later. Every problem in the game has at least one solution, and some have more than one. Sometimes solving a problem one way will make it harder to solve the next, and sometimes it will make it easier. If you get stuck, you might try backtracking to an earlier point in the game, then choosing a different path. If all else fails, you can write to us for hints. You can also buy the SIERRA GAME HINT BOOK from the dealer who sold you the game, or order it directly from Sierra On-Line by calling (800) 326- 6654. BRING ALONG SOME HELP. You may find it helpful (and fun) to play the game with a friend. Two (or more) heads are better than one at interpreting clues and solving problems. NEED A HINT? If you need a hint while playing a Sierra game, try the following ideas: 1. If you have a modem, you can talk to the Sierra Bulletin Board through the following number: (209) 683-4463 Our settings are 3000, 1200, or 2400 Baud; 8 Data; N Parity; 1 Stop Bit. Our sysop will be happy to help you. 2. Many other bulletin boards also provide hints to many of our games. A. Compuserve: Go into the Gamers Forum (GO GAMERS) or write E-Mail to 76004, 2143. B. Prodigy: Write E-Mail to 'HTWS90E', or go to the PC Club and enter the adventure games forum (Jump: PC CLUB). C. PCLink: Select PCLink Plus, enter Publisher's Connection, select Publishers Forums, then Sierra On-Line. E-Mail may be written to the User ID 'SierraOnLi'. D. AppleLink: Select the KEYWORD option from the 'Goto' menu, and type: Sierra. E-Mail may also be written to the User ID 'Sierras'. E. GEnie: From the main menu select 10 (Games), then select 1 (Games Round Table). Select 1 (Games Bulletin Board), and type set 22 at the '?' prompt. This will take you into the Sierra On-Line area. For more information on these BBS lines, you can all these toll-free numbers: Compuserve (800) 848-8199 Prodigy (800) 822-6922 PCLink (800) 458-8532 AppleLink (800) 227-6364 GEnie (800) 638-9636 3. The magazine Questbuster's Journal is a helpful source of many game hints. For a subscription, write to: Shay Adams, P.O.Box 5845, Tucson, AZ 85703 4. Your local software dealer may carry our hint books, or may be willing to order them for you. 5. If you are unable to obtain a hint book through a dealer, you can order one directly from us. Call (800) 326-6654 to place your order with a Visa, MasterCard or American Express card, or write: Sierra On-Line Inc. Order Department P.O.Box 485 Coarsegold, CA 93614 6. Call our automated hint line at (900) 370-KLUE to receive a hint. NOTE: California residents, please dial (900) 370-5113. THIS SERVICE IS AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY. THE CHARGES ARE: 75 CENTS FOR THE FIRST MINUTE AND 50 CENTS FOR EACH ADDITIONAL MINUTE. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE, YOU MUST HAVE A PARENT'S PERMISSION TO CALL. THE CONTENTS OF ALL MESSAGE ARE SOLELY THE RESPONSIBILITY OF SIERRA ON-LINE. HINTS WILL NOT BE GIVEN ON OTHER SIERRA TELEPHONE LINES. 7. Write a letter to the Sierra Hint Department, P.O.Box 485, Coarsegold, CA 93614 PROBLEM DISK? TECHNICAL HELP (MS DOS ONLY) If the game colors seem dull or washed out, please try adjusting you monitor's brightness, and contrast before assuming the program disks are faulty. If you receive any of the following messages while playing Sierra game: CRC ERROR: This message means you have a bad disk. It stands for Cyclic Redundancy Check, a way to check for errors. DATA ERROR READING DRIVE A: This message means you have a bad disk. INSERT DISK #_: (When you have inserted that disk) means you may need to create a boot disk. See BOOT DISK INSTRUCTIONS, below. OUT OF HUNK: This message means you may be running RAM- resident programs such as Windows, Sidekick, and DOS shell, or other programs that remain resident in your computer's memory even when you are not using them. Booting you computer with a BOOT DISK will solve this problem. See BOOT DISK INSTRUCTION, below. SECTOR NOT FOUND READING DRIVE A: While reading any MS-DOS game disk means you have a bad disk. See REPLACING DISKS, below, for more information. If, after loading the game, you see only a blank screen: You may have made incorrect graphic or sound support choices during the Install procedure. Rerun the installation, and choose again. If, after loading the game, you see only a blank screen with a mouse pointer: You may have one of the newer SoundBlaster cards without CMS chips installed, and you may have selected GameBlaster support during the Install procedure. Reinstall, selecting AdLib support. IF YOU ATTEMPT ANY OF THESE SOLUTIONS AND THE PROBLEM PERSISTS, CALL SIERRA TECHNICAL SUPPORT (209) 683-8989 FOR ASSISTANCE. BOOT DISK INSTRUCTIONS Booting your computer system with a Boot Disk before you play Sierra game will keep any TSR (Terminate-and-Stay-Resident) programs from being loaded into memory. NOTE: THE FORMAT COMMAND MUST BE USED WITH CARE TO AVOID ERASING ALL STORED INFORMATION ON YOUR HARD DISK. PLEASE FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS BELOW EXACTLY. FORMATTING FROM A HARD DISK 1. Insert a blank disk into Drive A: 2. At the C: prompt, type: format a:/s [ENTER] Note: If your A: drive is a 5.25" high density drive, using a low density disk, type: format a:/s/t:40/n:9 If your A: drive is a 3.5" high density drive, using a low density disk, type: format a:/s/t:80/n:9 3. Follow the DOS prompts. FORMATTING FROM A DISKETTE DRIVE 1. Insert you original DOS system disk in Drive A: 2. At the A: prompt, type format a:/s [ENTER] 3. When prompted, insert a blank disk into Drive A: and Follow the DOS prompts. NOW YOU WILL NEED TO CREATE A CONFIG.SYS FILE FOR YOUR BOOT DISK: 4. Insert your formatted blank disk into Drive A:. 5. Type: a: [ENTER] 6. Type: copy con config.sys [ENTER] 7. Type: files=20 [ENTER] 8. Press the [F6] key, then press [ENTER]. You should see the message: 1 File(s) copied. IF YOU ARE USING DOS VERSION 4.00 OR VERSION 4.01, FOLLOW THE STEPS BELOW TO CREATE AN AUTOEXEC.BAT FILE. IF YOU ARE USING A DIFFERENT VERSION OF DOS, GO TO MOUSE DRIVERS, BELOW: CREATING AN AUTOEXEC.BAT FILE FOR MS-DOS 4.0 AND 4.01 1. Type: a: [ENTER]. 2. Type: copy con autoexec.bat [ENTER]. 3. Type: set comspec=c:\command.com [ENTER]. 4. Press the [F6] key, then press [ENTER]. NOTE: IF YOUR HARD DISK DOS PARTITION IS GREATER THAN 32 MEGABYTES, YOU MUST LOAD THE FILE SHARE.EXE ONTO YOUR BOOT DISK. LOADING SHARE.EXE 1. Insert your Boot Disk into Drive A:. 2. Type: c: [ENTER]. 3. Type: cd\ [ENTER]. 4. Type: copy c:\share.exe a:. If you get the message FILE NOT FOUND, type: copy c:\dos\share.exe a: [ENTER]. If this file is still not found, call Sierra Technical Support at (209) 683-8989 for assistance. MOUSE DRIVERS If you will be using a mouse to play your Sierra game, you must copy your mouse driver onto your Boot Disk. Refer to your mouse manual for information on how to install your mouse driver, or call Sierra Technical Support (209) 683-8989 for assistance. AFTER YOU HAVE CREATED A BOOT DISK, YOU MUST REBOOT YOU COMPUTER WITH THE DISK. LEAVING THE BOOT DISK IN DRIVE A:, PRESS [CTRL]-[ALT]-[DEL] AT THE SAME TIME. YOUR COMPUTER WILL NOW REBOOT, WITH A: AS THE DEFAULT DRIVE. TYPE C: [ENTER] TO CHANGE BACK TO YOUR HARD DISK. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS IN THE MANUAL TO START THE GAME, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME! If you have created a Boot Disk and booted your system with is before playing you Sierra game, and your problem is still evident, something else is wrong. Call Sierra Technical Support at (209) 683-8989 for assistance. Docs for Leisure Suit Larry I (32 Color Enhancement) LOST WAGES After Dark Visitors Guide Welcome to Beautiful Lost Wages where you can ante up and party down. You'll find just the right kind of action, whether you're here to gamble or gambol! You may be a little dazzled when you first arrive, so we've got a suggestion or two for starting your adventure here in Glitzy Gulch. WARNING Experienced adventure-type studs may not need this little walking tour, so don't read any further if you prefer to score on your own. Let's start your tour in front of Lefty's, one of our classier drinking establishments. CLICK the Eye icon on the sidewalk to Look at it and it will call your attention to the sign on the pole... you'll want to Look at that, too. That taxi sign is your key to transportation in the big city! Look at the front of the bar, the window, and the street to get the big picture. CLICK the Hand icon on the doormat. Now let's head on into Lefty's by clicking the Hand on the front door. The joint is hopping, as usual! CLICK the Eye icon on everything: the customers, the bartender, the jukebox, the painting, and the fan. CLICK the Hand on the empty barstool to sit down. CLICK the Talk icon on any of the customers to see what they've got to say. Next, Talk to the bartender. Here's where you choose your poison, but for now, go for some of Lefty's famous well-whiskey. Now, carefully carrying your drink, let's take a look in that mysterious- looking back room. CLICK the Walk icon on the doorway at the upper left corner of the room to get there. Not much to look at... a table, some barrels piled up in back, and a heap against the wall. Look on the table to see what's lying there, then CLICK the Hand on the rose to pick it up. You never know when you'll meet some- body you'll want to impress! Talk to the drunk lying on the floor. Wants to have a drink, does he? Demonstrate your generosity by giving him your whiskey. To do that, open up the Inventory window and CLICK the Pointer and on the small glass of whiskey to highlight it. The pointer will change to a Whiskey Glass. CLICK the whiskey glass on the drunk to give it to him. In return, he'll give you his most prized possession! Save the game by clicking on the Controls icon and pressing the Save button. Name it something like, "In Lefty's Back Room." Now you're ready to start exploring Lost Wages on your own. There are other things to find and do in Lefty's and all over the city. When you're ready to head out to other nightspots, just walk outside, and CLICK the Talk icon on your head. Be sure to talk to the cabby, he knows where the action is! You may need to try things More Than Once to achieve success. And, hey... enjoy the city! The Palamino Ranch Brochure Calling all dudes! Come one, come all! "Where even a tenderfoot can lick every mare on the spread" Activities Located in the scenic Lost Wages just 5 miles from the Humongous Tetons, two miles from the pouting Bodacious Tetons, and just down the road from the Small-Yet-Pert-Tetons. Get a long little doggie! At the Palamino Ranch, you kin practice all your dude ranchin' skills, like: Ropin' fillies Bareback ridin' Cow pokin' And every Tuesday, enter our Canyon Yodelin' contest! Eatin' Out You'll enjoy real down-home campfire cookin'. For lunch, cornbread and chili (and hey, blame it on the cows... that's what we do!) For dinner, tuna tacos and hot buns. And if you like jugs o' Moonshine, our cowgirls have some of the smoothest you've ever set yer lips on. For you wimmenfolk, we'll akshully show ya how to make some real frontier treats! Just imagine pulling your own taffy under the stars, shuckin' corn in the barn, churning butter and packin' fudge in yor very own crock. You'll be pleasin' yer greenhorn in no time flat. Accommodations Remember, whether it's a day of horseplay or a Bronco-bustin' weekend, grease up your saddlebag and give us a call at 1-800-ZIP-DOWN. We'll set you up with your own filly, bed roll and chaps. Before you can say "Yippie-ay-yay," we'll have you back in the saddle! Available for Bar-Mitzvahs, Bachelor Parties, Conventions and CEO B-Days. Hourly rates. Reins extra; no spurs allowed. Also visit: Carla's Bad Caverns (see the drippin' turgid stalagmites and oozing paint pots. Openings available year 'round!) Moaning Glory Acres (where the pussywillow blooms!) Old Faceful (Imagine... an eruption every 35 minutes! Could you do better?) Gettin' to the Palamino Ranch is easier'n pickin off a saddlesore. Jes' head on down the Tooney Valley Highway and turn off at Venus's Mound O' Used Tires and RV Waste Sump. Take Exit 69 and be sure to pull out when you come to the sign of the Giant Palamino. We'll keep a light on for ya! The Lost Wages Mystery Hole Brochure On your trip to Lost Wages, Experience the Thrill of a lifetime! Plumb the depths of the Fabulous Lost Wages Mystery Hole "over 5,000,000 serviced" Nestled in the bush just shooting distance from warm, inviting Beaver Creek, the bizarre yet strangely satisfying MYSTERY HOLE beckons. Plunge headfirst into the soothing Backdoor Basin! Squeeze into the wonderful Mossy Furrow at the end of Skidmark Trail! Spend 5 minutes in the disorienting Tumbling Tunnel... when you get home, you'll swear to your friends it took you an hour-and-a-half! See objects swell to 5 TIMES THEIR ORIGINAL size... Then, just as mysteriously, wither back again! You've never seen anything like it! How did the Mystery Hole come to be? Nobody's quite sure. Psychic Investigators have studied the Mystery Hole and left scratching themselves. Scientists have probed the Mystery Hole with their instruments and emerged shaking their heads. All we know is that everybody who explores the Mystery Hole's secret crevices wants to come again and again and again! WHOSE WHOM IN AMERICA 4 N. Kate Place Salt Lick City, Utah 82110 From the desk of Mr. Muhweeny DEAR MR. LAFFER, Frankly, I'm puzzled. I don't understand why you haven't responded to the Fabulous offer we recently made you! Let's face it, LAWRENCE. Men have it rough in today's world. What with the so-called "Women's Liberation" movement, it's getting harder and harder. To find a suitable mate. Even for fabulouso, studly, sensitive guys like yourself, LAWRENCE. But we want you to know that WE appreciate your finer qualities. After all, you're in the full flower of your manhood...a young, active 40 years old (barely out of your teens!). We know that you've got a solid, established career as a TRAVELING SOFTWARE SALESMAN and make more than $ N/A a year. You've resided in one of America's finer neighborhoods, ANYTOWN, for 40 years...long enough to have established a reputation as a ADEQUATE credit risk. So why Wouldn't any woman leap at the chance to throw herself on your strapping, muscular 65" frame? We'll tell you why. They Would! But it's so hard to Meet the kind of woman you deserve! That's why we know you'll Jump at the chance to be included in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...an opportunity to have your face and your vital statistics included in what's sure to be this year's most sought-after book: WHOSE WHOM IN SINGLE MEN IN THE SOUTHWESTERN UNITED STATES. Imagine, women all over the country will be receiving this volume of THE SOUTHWESTERN UNITED STATE"S most eligible bachelors. And not just any women, LAWRENCE. The kind of women we know you like, women with the MEDIUM HANDFULS you've told us you so love to look at...to touch...to nuzzle! Single attractive, available women with ANY LENGTH legs, beautiful CLEAN hair and YES derrieres. Don't waste another minute, LAWRENCE! Fill out the form at the bottom of this page and include your check or money order (or just use your NONE credit card). And you'll be on your way to a lifetime of babes! Enthusiastically, Adolph Muhweeny Vice President, Direct Male Dept. -Skid Row